Recent Conversations with Filia

Filia: One of my books is missing! Call the authorities!
Me: What authorities?

***

Me: Why are you tying my hair in knots?
Filia: I'm not tying your hair in knots. I'm tying your hair in knots around a kitten. [note: stuffed kitten]
Me: What?
Filia: Mean mommy. Won't even let a kitten dangle in her hair.
Me: Filia, get this kitten out of my hair...
Filia: It wants to bungie jump.
Me: What?
[kitten is detached]
Me: Uh oh, the cord broke.
Filia: Yeah, but I caught it in time.

***

Filia, upon discovering that I had put some of her artworks away in the garage: But those are some of my finest pieces!

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Filia: I have a severe and deeply ingrained case of insomnia.
Filia's piano teacher: She has quite a way with words!

***

Filia: Moooom? [light turns on in hallway; sound of footsteps]
Maritus [sotto voce] Damn...
Me [pause]: Sweetie, go back to bed.
Filia: What's going on?
Me: Um, nothing sweetie. Don't come in here. Just go back to sleep.
Filia: But what's going on? Why were you making so much noise? You woke me up.
Me: Nothing's wrong, sweetie. We were just... having fun.
Filia: But what were you doing?
Me: Let's discuss it in the morning. I'm sorry we woke you up.
Maritus: Go to bed, Filia. And turn off the light....
Filia: Well...okay. [footsteps, hall light goes off]
Maritus: Whew!